A Calling

Coffee shop confession: You know what music is not inspiring? Soundgarden’s Black Hole Sun. It’s a coffee shop fail. Even if I was just sitting here, eating my croissant, sipping on my espresso, and minding my business, I would not want to jam out to Black Hole Sun. Follow that up with Alice and Chains and I am out the door faster than you can say “Mint Mocha, skim milk, with whip.” And I was…this morning after three severely depressing songs. It took everything in my power not to scream, “Bring back my Adele and Ray!!!” while flaring my arms and running out the door (picture Phoebe from Friends running through the park with Rachel). Now I am in my cozy corner chair in our study, windows open, breeze coming in, puppy at my feet, and the world is exactly how it should be. What I am listening to you ask? JJ Heller, Your Hands (first song that plays on my playlist, crank up the volume, you won’t regret it)

Your Hands

I have unanswered prayers

I have trouble I wish wasn't there

And I have asked a thousand ways

That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand

How to walk this weary land

Make straight the paths that crookedly lie

Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking

Heaven stands

When my heart is breaking

I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth

You healed the broken, lost, and hurt

I know You hate to see me cry

One day You will set all things right

Yea, one day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking

Heaven stands

When my heart is breaking

I never leave Your hands

Your hands

Your hands that shape the world

Are holding me, they hold me still

Your hands that shape the world

Are holding me, they hold me still

When my world is shaking

Heaven stands

When my heart is breaking

I never leave You when...

When my world is shaking

Heaven stands

When my heart is breaking

I never leave...

I never leave Your hands

by JJ Heller

This song inspires me. In a world that can bring so much pain, this song brings me a blanket of comfort. Let’s talk some more about inspiration shall we? Be warned! I am still high on an amazing and somewhat surreal weekend with my family. I’m all fired up to get things done this week and to look for inspiration in every corner. As you may know, I have been writing this blog for almost two years now. Go here to see how it all got started. I used to go back and forth about its purpose. Maybe it should be a photography blog? Maybe it should be a mommy blog? Maybe it should be a photography and mommy blog? Maybe it shouldn’t be? Then, about three months ago, I was lucky enough to attend an amazing Christian conference in New Haven, Connecticut. One of the tasks that was presented at the beginning of the conference was to complete the sentence, “I feel God is calling me to do...” It’s sad to say, but I just sat there with the pen in my hand lightly touching a blank sheet of paper, with absolutely nothing to write. Instead of words, tears began to form as I looked around the room and saw about a dozen other photographers who knew exactly what God had called them to do. In that moment, I felt confused, insecure, and jealous. Was God not calling me to do anything or was it that I couldn’t hear Him? Despite my frustrations with trying to understand my calling, I had an amazing time at the conference and I learned a lot about God, life, and the importance of relationships in my life.

There are several women I met at that conference whose relationships I cherish and they continue to inspire me still to this day. The significance of relationships in my life grew even more a few posts ago as I opened up about the beauty and the emptiness I have experienced in my life. From that post I received the most heartfelt responses I have ever had in the time I’ve been writing this blog. I cried out to my readers and they responded with similar stories of struggles and great words of encouragement. I wanted to go out on a coffee date with each one of you right then to hear your stories and share our trials and tribulations.

I was starting to feel something of a calling, but wasn’t certain until this Bible verse came to mind:

“But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.” – Deuteronomy 4:29

My uncertainty came from the lack of a relationship with Him. If I would seek Him daily, I would hear His call. And my calling? It’s in the relationships. I don’t want this blog to simply be a template for me to gab about my life. I want it to be a way of connecting with people and developing long lasting relationships. So share your story if you’d like and if you read my blog and see me at the park, you better come up and give me a big ole hug because you are so very important to me. Ultimately, that is why I love photography. I get to build relationships with you and experience all the love you have in your life.

Share your story with me J

With Love,

Stacy

This week, we started out baking sweet cookies together.