Monday, October 24, 2011

A Life Worth Living

You know those dreams you have that are so real and so amazing that when the alarm goes off you keep hitting snooze to take in even the littlest morsel more?  I have a friend who literally dreams of being in a small canoe with rainbows all around her. When she falls out of the boat she lands in a crystal clear ocean full of bright colorful fish.  She doesn’t care that she is now soaking wet because she is in complete contentment.   While her happiness is displayed in colorful fish and matching rainbows, I am sure mine would look like a clean house, dinner on the table every night, and hours of family time at my finger tips. I crave my family these sweet October mornings and crisp October evenings and I miss my daily devotion to the most natural thing I know how to be… a mother. My schedule has been maxed out so much so that I actually heard Addisyn tell Steve as I was leaving,“Momma. Bye Bye. No No No! ” Talk about heart sinking, mommy guilt to the tenth power. 

I once quit my full time job to be home with my family. The yearning of time with Addisyn pulled at me so much that I knew I couldn’t have it any other way. At home, with her, was exactly where I needed to be.  Yeah, the finances would take a hit, but her smile and arms wrapped around my neck was everything I needed to know I had made the right decision.  This post is 100% completely written with emotion.  I needed to write it out so I could see externally the struggles I have been dealing with internally. I feel the need to be transparent to you and to my future Addisyn so she can see that she has never been without my love for her.  Everything I do in the day is done with her on my mind and in my heart.  My body may be exhausted, my brain may be sputtering to a halt, but my LOVE for her and her dad is ever-present.  I am sure I do not stand alone in this topic in the land of parenthood.  I wonder how many others take a look at their so called “life” and wonder what it is they are really living. Until that is,  a sweet and innocent reminder brings them to their knees and makes them look at life from a different perspective – a child’s.  Isn’t it a great gift that we get to learn from them as often as they learn from us?

***

Today Addisyn and I went to the park for a picnic and some quality playground time. I was holding her on my way back to the car and she pointed up to the sky and said, “Bir”. I squeezed her tightly and said, “Yes, Baby! Those are birds! You are so smart”. She smiled at me, put her fingers in her mouth, and rested her head on my chest. I would’ve hit the snooze button if I could have.

Hoping you find your life worth living in the smallest moments this week,

Stacy Hart

praise report: some or most of you know that although I am stay at home mom, I also had a part time job working 24 hours a week in addition to my photography business. I am happy to report, that I have put the notice in at my work and will no longer be working there by the end of the year.  I get 24 hrs of family time back in my life! {{Fist Pump}}

Sweet pics of my baby girl!








"You don't need to find yourself , you need to lose yourself. You need to have something that transcends yourself in order to make your life meaningful." - Theodore Dalrymple - Author and Psychiatrist (from The Truth Project)




and my absolute favorite pic... Addisyn and her Grandpa




Thursday, October 13, 2011

One More For Love The Story: Chapter 24 - Peace

“Steve,


I am actually at a loss for words right now and don’t know how best to organize my thoughts. Your email made my day, to say the least, and I couldn’t be more excited to get home and have our very first “more than a bbq” date.  Everything with you is so natural and I think I have had a permanent smile on my face since the day we reconnected over here. I know it has only been a short time since me and Chris broke up and my desire to live out my new found freedom has only just begun, but I can’t shake this feeling. This brings me to a very important topic…


US: It’s true that when I used to look around at roll call and see you standing in formation that I was absolutely pumped. Our conversations on the flightline have always made my nights go by so fast and something to look forward to on my ride into work.  I did briefly wonder what it would be like to be with you and quickly dismissed the idea because of my situation. Still, our friendship has always been so much fun. You are definitely one person I have always confided in at work and even now with everything that is going on with my house, I turn to you first. I think that speaks for itself, but the one thing you can’t see that you should know about is how I feel now. I am pretty sure there is an extra skip to my step these days and my friend Sharla gets to hear about you a lot lately. I don’t know what *this* is between us, but I know it feels right so I am just going with it.  My heart is at peace for the first time in my life and I haven’t ever felt this much joy.


Counting the days until our date and wishing you were here,


Stacy"

Peace would describe it best.  After years of confusion and wonder why my heart sought something it so plainly could not have; here it was and peace came upon me like a deep breath and a long exhale.  I felt some excitement and happiness at seeing a beginning to the “US” Stacy had so sweetly referred to. But, when the excitement settled and I let myself internalize the entirety of that moment, there was a relief to finally be where I always felt I had belonged.

Though peace was not what I expected, it certainly made sense. The single life was never for me and it had always felt like a constant grind.  It was exhausting to meet someone new, hope she’d become someone she never could be, then still find myself disappointed when she turned out to be exactly who I thought she was.   This emotional cycle of consistent let down had toughened my heart to a state of dating apathy. It could only be revived by satisfying the expectation that only one woman could ever meet.  This email was a relief because if Stacy was feeling the same peace I was feeling then…the search was over.  A void the size of a swimming pool that had only felt drips from a faucet was finally met with a waterfall.

I knew I hadn’t told her I loved her or put a title to it yet, but I also knew that titles and words could be deceiving and foolish.  And, the way she made my heart calm and spirit come to rest was all the proof I needed to know this was real.  I didn’t want anyone else, I didn’t want anything else, but to let her know that I wanted her and her alone and I would wait for twelve months of deployment if it meant I could hold her when she came back home.

************************************************************************************

I was walking from my car to the gym the following day when I got a phone call from Stacy. I smiled softly to myself and felt a gentle warmth in my heart; confident in every word I was about to say.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Margie and Bernie Are Married {Maryland Wedding Photography}

She softly closes her eyes as he gently touches his fingertips to her face to move her dark loose strands of hair behind her ear. You can be standing two feet or twenty feet away from them and I swear you see, feel, and hear her breathe in his closeness. Together they melt in each other’s embrace and, for those of us that get to witness it, we know they have locked themselves in a world all their very own.  It’s powerful!

 I don’t doubt the power of their love. In the short time I have known Bernie and Margie, one thing has become quite clear; everything they do in their lives and their love, is done to glorify their King and Savior Jesus Christ. In fact, their whole wedding was focused on Him.

They prayed together during the ceremony and stood holding hands singing, “How Great is our God”. It was truly moving and I could feel God’s presence.

Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer


Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Their guests stood and joined in to worship. It was amazing!

How Great is our God...




The splendor of a King



Clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice
All the earth rejoice
He wraps Himself in light
And darkness tries to hide
It trembles at His voice
Trembles at His voice
How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God and all will see
How great, how great is our God
Age to age, He stands
And time is in His hands
Beginning and the end
Beginning and the end
The Godhead Three in One
Father, Spirit, Son
Lion and the Lamb
Lion and the Lamb
How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God and all will see
How great, how great is our God

Margie and Bernie, if there was not a single detail at your wedding, the beauty of your love for each other would have been enough to take in. It was an honor to be a part of your special day. I hope you are having a wonderful time in Costa Rica.

With Love,

Stacy Hart
“For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst”  - Matthew 18:20
Please enjoy some of my favorite pics...
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer

Margie and Bernie opted to do the first look so they were able to get a TON of portraits... And I, for one, am obsessed with these!
 

Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer

Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer


 Margie, you are soooo gorgeous I just want to squeal when I see these pics!
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Bernie, GQ Magazine worthy....
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
 
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
You two are so hot!
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer
Copyright Stacy Hart Photography - Maryland Wedding Photographer

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Monday, October 3, 2011

Wannabe Hipster

I have always wanted to be that girl in the cozy coffee shop, connected to Wi-Fi and studiously working away at something really important; maybe a business owner who is connecting with important clients or, better yet, a hipster writing a righteous story.  Do hipsters say words like righteous?



I often go into my local coffee shop and wonder what my hipster moment would be like. I can totally imagine myself curled up on one of the faux black leather chairs typing away at my latest blog post while sipping on my yummy Grande Mint Mocha with 2% milk and whipped cream while Adele or Ray LaMontagne sing sweetly in my ear.  Some people have an inner diva. Me? I have an inner supermom and hipster. Yep, one day I will be strutting down the street in my Anthropologie outfits while rockin’ my minivan, you just watch.

 This morning was the exact crisp October morning I needed to live it out.  I craved for my hands to be wrapped around a huge mug of Mint Mocha and to be calmed and inspired by the soothing sounds of Tom Petty and Josh Radin. So here I am and I have to say, it has all been quite natural. I walked into the coffee shop with my cozy- albeit “hip”-outfit on and chose a perfect spot.  I was tucked between the espresso machine and the cute rock couple that found their little corner in the cafĂ© and paid no mind to me – only to their cool conversation and perfectly prepared latte.  Thoreau needed Walden’s Pond like I need a welcoming chair, espresso and a Pandora station full of folk music. I am cool, yet productive – studious, yet cozy - a mom, yet …hip.  This post is about starting this week out right, finding peace in the simple things and taking my mommy rejuvenation moments when I can get them.  I think I might make this a Monday morning ritual. Aww heck, I might even go shopping for some cool fall boots and scarves. But for right now, my hipster self is going to tag team my supermom self and go pick up my sweet girl from school.  When I get her I’m going to give her kisses and be happy that I got a small break, but excited that I get to go back to the most important job in the world.

 Hoping each mom out there can find her inner self that makes her happy!

 With love,


Stacy

Addisyn is very curious about all kinds of music
 She loves to rock out!
 * My animals *

An example of what it is like when Daddy gets home

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