Monday, October 24, 2011

A Life Worth Living

You know those dreams you have that are so real and so amazing that when the alarm goes off you keep hitting snooze to take in even the littlest morsel more?  I have a friend who literally dreams of being in a small canoe with rainbows all around her. When she falls out of the boat she lands in a crystal clear ocean full of bright colorful fish.  She doesn’t care that she is now soaking wet because she is in complete contentment.   While her happiness is displayed in colorful fish and matching rainbows, I am sure mine would look like a clean house, dinner on the table every night, and hours of family time at my finger tips. I crave my family these sweet October mornings and crisp October evenings and I miss my daily devotion to the most natural thing I know how to be… a mother. My schedule has been maxed out so much so that I actually heard Addisyn tell Steve as I was leaving,“Momma. Bye Bye. No No No! ” Talk about heart sinking, mommy guilt to the tenth power. 

I once quit my full time job to be home with my family. The yearning of time with Addisyn pulled at me so much that I knew I couldn’t have it any other way. At home, with her, was exactly where I needed to be.  Yeah, the finances would take a hit, but her smile and arms wrapped around my neck was everything I needed to know I had made the right decision.  This post is 100% completely written with emotion.  I needed to write it out so I could see externally the struggles I have been dealing with internally. I feel the need to be transparent to you and to my future Addisyn so she can see that she has never been without my love for her.  Everything I do in the day is done with her on my mind and in my heart.  My body may be exhausted, my brain may be sputtering to a halt, but my LOVE for her and her dad is ever-present.  I am sure I do not stand alone in this topic in the land of parenthood.  I wonder how many others take a look at their so called “life” and wonder what it is they are really living. Until that is,  a sweet and innocent reminder brings them to their knees and makes them look at life from a different perspective – a child’s.  Isn’t it a great gift that we get to learn from them as often as they learn from us?

***

Today Addisyn and I went to the park for a picnic and some quality playground time. I was holding her on my way back to the car and she pointed up to the sky and said, “Bir”. I squeezed her tightly and said, “Yes, Baby! Those are birds! You are so smart”. She smiled at me, put her fingers in her mouth, and rested her head on my chest. I would’ve hit the snooze button if I could have.

Hoping you find your life worth living in the smallest moments this week,

Stacy Hart

praise report: some or most of you know that although I am stay at home mom, I also had a part time job working 24 hours a week in addition to my photography business. I am happy to report, that I have put the notice in at my work and will no longer be working there by the end of the year.  I get 24 hrs of family time back in my life! {{Fist Pump}}

Sweet pics of my baby girl!








"You don't need to find yourself , you need to lose yourself. You need to have something that transcends yourself in order to make your life meaningful." - Theodore Dalrymple - Author and Psychiatrist (from The Truth Project)




and my absolute favorite pic... Addisyn and her Grandpa




1 comment:

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