A title I wear proudly and a job that requires no explanation. Or justification for that matter. I choose it for my life because there is really no other way. It’s a gift, a dream, a blessing and as with any job there are great rewards if I try my best. The trouble I have with stay-at-home-momming is balance. I struggle to keep the scales even between being physically and mentally present for Addisyn and not concerning myself all day long with the deadlines I have weighing over me for photography. It’s hard. And while the iPhone, Facebook, Instagram, and emails loom over me on most days, I often have one day that snaps me back to reality for a good while. Yesterday was one of those days.
Steve and I have similar ideas on how we want to raise our children and I think we can even mutually sense when things are feeling off. With our busy lives and goal oriented attitudes it’s easy to get caught up in the details that fall about ten lines below “family” on the list of things we should cherish. It’s hard not to be so distracted with how connected we can be socially to our jobs and our pastimes. With one click of a button on my phone, I can check my email, post a status on Facebook, or upload a pic on Instagram. I don’t even have to be near a computer to show Addisyn that she isn’t the most important thing to me or that the phone glued to my side gets more attention than she does. Now, I know this isn’t true in my heart, but the reality is that she doesn’t know. She thinks I need it with me at all times and often grabs it off my nightstand and hands it to me before we head downstairs. I’m totally guilty of not being mentally there for Addisyn on most days. And so I struggle with balance. The truth of the matter is that I know I am a darn good mom. I teach her very important values throughout the day, communicate with her often, and make sure she knows she is loved. But, I want to make sure I don’t stop there. I don’t want to settle for being good at the areas I know I am good at and justify my not-so-presentness with everything I am doing right. With any job, there is reward for doing even better. It may not come now and it may not come tomorrow, but one day I will see it in Addisyn’s character. Steve and I noticed that we were becoming disconnected from our roles as mommy and daddy as well as husband and wife. And yesterday, the pain, guilt, and emptiness climaxed. Something had to be done as we both felt convicted to make a change. Last night we instituted family “unplugged” time from 5:00pm-8:00pm every night and it was nothing short of amazing and freeing. Here is what we discovered:
1.) If we put our phones upstairs, we aren’t bound to respond to every chime, vibration, or beep.
2.) Facebook and emails will still be there at 8:00pm after Addisyn goes to sleep.
3.) Cooking dinner is much more fun when we do it as a family.
4.) Addisyn laughs and talks more with us.
5.) Steve and I connect more without distractions.
6.) And all together we are super happy that we are together and in tuned to each other.
Even though I haven’t set the scales exactly even, especially during the day, my heart is telling me that I am taking the weight off of the correct side. I’m determined to be crafty, creative, and most importantly…present, for my baby girl.
*ah! this is sad, but I have been trying to catch up in work that this week that I have rarely picked up the camera. But a blog post is not a blog post without a pic or two :-)
